S1. Episode 14: That Damn Donna Reed

Vivian Leigh or Jessica Tandy?

I’m impressed by the sheer audacity of layering two major pop cultural references onto a single episode—A Streetcare Named Desire and The Donna Reed Show—when one probably would’ve been fine. And actually, it works! I never really stopped to think about how this could’ve been tangled and messy because it wasn’t tangled or messy, and the only reason I’m thinking about this now is because I’m writing about the episode. Having these two references in the same episode works because they never intersect, and in fact, they help us to organize how we view each of our protagonists, Lorelai and Rory. Just stay with me while I work this out!

A Streetcar Named Desire is about attractive, privileged women who are battered by the world and the men in it, who have gone through some shit and are just barely getting by. Their looks have gotten them all they have, but turns out looks are also a heavy burden and the source of most of their problems. Naturally, this is layered over Lorelai’s storyline, which to be clear, is not exactly parallel to the narrative of Streetcar. By that, I mean, Luke’s not in here gambling and beating her up and yelling about her furs. It’s more just like, the play/movie is there in our periphery as Lorelai goes through her shenanigans, and we’re reminded that Lorelai is in a different place in her life in comparison to her sheltered daughter who still houses all the potential in the world. (But also, maybe the real reason for this elaborate set up is just so the writers had an opportunity to make a “STELLA!” allusion.)

Meanwhile, Rory is in the land of Donna Reed, a show about the perfect woman and her perfect family. If you’re not familiar with The Donna Reed Show, it’s in the same sphere of influence as Leave It to Beaver. If you aren’t familiar with Leave It to Beaver, I don’t know what to tell you. When I was briefly a high school teacher, I once made a Leave It to Beaver reference and my students looked at me like I was an alien. I like to think that didn’t mean anything though because I also went on a long tangent about Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, like part of a lecture was structured around this, and then every student in the class was like “Who is Audrey Hepburn?” to which I did that annoying thing I swore I’d never do and exclaimed about how “young” they are and how “old” I suddenly felt, even though age has nothing to do with it because I was definitely not alive during Audrey Hepburn’s heyday. But anyway, Donna Reed is part of an era of show that presents a really controlled, glossy, wholesome version of the American experience. Just like Rory—naive, dishonest, hopeful. Not marred by the gritty realities of Marlon Brando in a wifebeater.

Is Dean acting as toxic as Stanley Kowalski? To be mildly fair to Dean, I do see where he’s coming from re: their first fight as a couple over Donna Reed’s agency. I do not think he expects Rory to be Donna Reed, to cook him dinner every night. In fact, I think it’s well established (we’re pretty much knocked over the head with this info every episode) that Rory DOES NOT cook and for him to ever hope that would be delusional. But, when Rory and Lorelai make fun of Donna Reed and everything she does, he becomes defensive because it feels like they are ridiculing his own mother, who does the things that Donna Reed does. Like most teen boys, he does not have the language to articulate this coherently. Rory makes a valid point in their disagreement though, too. Donna Reed represents a restrictive womanhood, a gender role so narrowly defined that it’s offensive to disregard the millions of women who suffered at the hands of it. Dean’s mom has the choice to cook dry, mediocre roast beef for her husband, while lots of nameless Donna Reeds did not. However, I also think Rory and Lorelai were ridiculing women like Dean’s mother, and Rory was trying to bury this fact under her principled feminist protest. Does Rory believe women should have the choice to be stay-at-home moms and cook dinner for their husbands? Sure, in theory. But she also judges them for making that choice.

How do I feel about the resolution of this fight? I’m not sure I feel great about it. So Rory does trad mom cosplay because she discovers Donna Reed is an uncredited producer of the show, and all is well? This discovery should 100% piss you off more. Donna Reed did a bunch of work and then a bunch of dudes took credit for it? Yeah, I don’t care if Dean’s mom has the choice to cook dinner or not, we’re burning down all the kitchens.

The only thing more annoying than this Donna Reed argument is the fact that Lorelai continues to play dumb about Luke. Granted, I do think it’s weird everyone is like, Lorelai, you called this man to help you with an escaped bird and expected him to not expect sex?! I feel like that’s a leap, but the essence of the point is valid. I’m giving Lorelai a hard time, but actually I relate a lot to this particular impulse of hers. There’s two types of people in this world: 1) the person who admits to crushing on anyone and everyone, openly and proudly, and 2) the person who denies denies denies the existence of any crush for fear of embarassment or humilation or sometimes for no reason at all. I have historically fallen into category number two and have always envied those who are type number 1. For instance, I think Lane, Ms. Patty, and Babette are type number 1, while Sookie, Michel, and Luke are good examples of type number 2s.

Lorelai does not want to admit she likes Luke because at her core, Lorelai is an insecure person who is wildly protective of her own emotional saftey. If Luke were to reject her, or if they were to date and it ended poorly, the security of the life she’s built in Stars Hollow is thrown into disarray. And, what’s more, she has endured the rejection of her parents and of Christopher—by rejection, I don’t mean in the harsh dramatic sense, but in the most basic way. She doesn’t belong in her parent’s world. They don’t accept her for who she is and try desperately to mold her in their vision. A rejection of her truest self, the most hurtful kind. And, while she doesn’t want to marry Chris and tells him to go his own way, the fact that he actually does choose his own selfish desires over her and their child is a kind of rejection, however much that rejection was aided and nurtured by Lorelai herself. If she can imagine a real future with Luke, the scarier it is to also imagine the possible rejection she may have to endure if he doesn’t choose her. The humilation of admitting you are vulnerable! Hence, her repeated and obnoxiously transparent attempts to deny any knowledge of a thing between them. Who, Luke? As if she wasn’t just on the floor of his diner, their noses a half inch away from each other.

Anyway, the moment she finally admits to her mother she might have a secret crush on Luke, of course Christopher shows up on his stupid motorbike. I’d like to also call our attention to the fact that, just like Richard and Emily a few episodes ago, this is Chris’s FIRST VISIT EVER to Stars Hollow, the town where his sixteen-year-old daughter has lived her entire life. I hate Chris on an intellectual level, but I do actually feel they did a great job in casting choice here. He has a boyish charm that allows us to forgive a lot. He is the exact person who has failed up his whole life, just because he’s handsome and nice. Like, I hate that he’s an objectively bad father, but I don’t actually hate him, if that makes sense. And that’s hard to pull off. Now that he’s appeared, expect this frustrating Luke-Lorelai thing to be delayed for an indefinite period of time.