S1. Episode 15: Christopher Returns
The Offspring vs. Metallica
Say what you will about Christopher, but he is a remarkably well-drawn character. I actually can imagine the genetic combination of Lorelai and Christopher feasibly resulting in Rory—something about the slightly squashed quality of the face, and in Jackson’s words, his rich-person-nose, combined with Lorelai’s eyes and chin. Besides the physical familial resemblances, Christopher is well-cast because of the genuine chemistry he has with Lorelai. Their banter is quick, effortless, and sexually charged, and while Chris is truly a deadbeat dad, there is something so endearing and earnest about him. On the surface, he looks just like Max: white guy, weirdly voluminous brown hair, unremarkable build. But I don’t hate him like I hate Max even though Chris arguably has a lot more to hate.
Maybe it’s because Chris is the kind of guy who has for some reason never heard of the dictionary and also has a normal reaction to the fact that, of all things in this earthly world, his daughter would immediately request this as a gift. Maybe it’s because I can easily imagine Max belittling someone for having never read Proust, while Chris would never (although probably another reason he’s likeable is that Chris might have read Proust and if you asked him about it, he’d shrug and say it was “good”). I don’t mean to stand up for Chris, I only mean to point out he’s a great example of a character who is deeply flawed and yet has somehow drawn a viewer in, not unlike Lorelai herself.
This episode, Christopher returns for some undefined reason, wanting to be “a pal” to Rory having realized he hasn’t been around enough. Part of me is like, why now—why this sperm? (extra points if you can identify the movie reference) It’s been 16 years and now you wanna hang out with your daughter? He has literally never even visited the place where they live! And yet, the other part of me also knows there doesn’t really have to be an inciting reason for a parent, even or maybe especially a bad one, to have regrets about their relationship with their kid. Chris doesn’t need to have an epiphany. His desire to see his daughter can happen at any time, during any small moment. Preferably, that desire would’ve been there from the day she was born, but I’ve already said Chris is deeply flawed. He can’t even admit he wants to be there because he’s her father, needing to say instead that he wants to be her pal. The motorcycle, the leather jacket, the lack of any real job, the refusal to acknowledge he is a d-a-d…this man has a very clear case of Peter Pan Syndrome.
Directly contrasted is the person who exited the womb as a crotchety old man, Luke Danes! I’ve actually never thought of Luke and Chris as foils, only as two very different men in Lorelai’s life, which I think means the writing is good if you’re not actively thinking about the literary devices at play. But they really are direct foils: working class man (a greasy spoon, if you will) vs. silver spoon; grumpily existing in a static life state vs. charming his way to the top (re: failing up) and generally existing in a constantly volatile state; loved and lost his dad vs. hates his dad and chooses to be estranged. Even down to their choice of transportation! Luke has a truck, the largest and most practical kind of personal vehicle one could have, while Chris drives a motorcycle, a vehicle that serves a single person and is incredibly dangerous.
Lorelai spends the last like, 2 weeks? a month?—who knows, as we’ve established, time doesn’t exist in fairytale land Stars Hollow—convincing Luke to repaint his diner. There really is no reason they should do this, as the diner looks fine and the paint color she chooses has no visible difference from the color the diner currently is. Lorelai helps Luke with this project, promising to come after hours to help repaint. But Chris blows through like a hurricane! They go to FND together, and of course it’s a disaster because Emily invites Christopher’s parents, Straub and Francine, to come as well. Their names, by the way, are comedically rich-peopley. It’s like when you hear people are named Trip or Skip. Like, that can’t be your name, right? It’s the same feeling I have as when I hear Madonna talk in her affected British accent. Well, Straub’s and Francine’s names are self-fulfilling prophecies, because they both turn out to be horrible, coming as guests to dinner, blaming Lorelai for “seducing” Chris and “ruining” his future with her teen pregancy, and belittling their own granddaughter’s intellect! One stroke of writing genius is having all of this conversational drivel triggered by Lorelai’s panicked and completely unnecessary assertion that, “I hate President Bush. He’s stupid and his head is too tiny for his face.” Such a great demonstration of how quickly fraught family interactions can spiral from the most tiny or unrelated comments.
The stress of the evening pushes Chris and Lorelai to have sex on the balcony of her childhood room (apparently the site of Rory’s conception). This prevents her from going to Luke’s after FND to help him paint his diner, as of course she forgets, being wrapped up in the drama of the night. And this incident also spurs Chris to profess his undying love for her, pressuring her to marry him. Alas, Lorelai once again fails the man she is interested in being with while becoming enbroiled in the needs of a man she is incapable of leaving behind.
I think on the surface, or from the opinion of someone with rigid ideas about family and womanhood, one might think it’s stupid for Lorelai to reject Chris’s proposal. After all, he is the father of their child. Rory even says, there are crazier things than your parents getting married. I think this is worldview of Richard (and the pain point over which he and Lorelai disagree after Richard throws Straub and Francine out)—why wouldn’t they get married? They’re both attractive, young, and from the same socioeconomic background. They had a child together. They say they love each other. At this point, on paper, there doesn’t seem to be a reason they wouldn’t tie the knot. But Chris is someone who not only gets his card declined after offering to buy the Oxford English Dictionary, but who exhorts Rory to not tell her mother. In Lorelai’s argument, he listens to The Offspring! He shoots back, she likes Metallica! (I love this tidbit, as it does feel like something two very close people would really argue about in the middle of a serious argument. And I actually see the logic that Metallica is a much more serious band than The Offspring.) Chris, like all Peter Pans, is attracted to a fantasy. He doesn’t know how much work it is to be a stable father—it’s not just showing up and buying a big gift, which notably, even this he is unable to do.
This episode is weird. There. I said it.
It's not that its bad. There are a lot of really compelling moments here. But I think that we are expected to swallow some truly ridiculous backstory here. I'm sorry but if Christopher well and truly was a deadbeat dad for the last 16 years, Lorelei wouldn't be half in love with him by the end of season 2. They made him too bad of a dad. I know this show often plays with broad characters and larger than life situations quite a bit, but those usually are in the comedic areas of the show. The drama tends to be a lot more grounded. But the stuff with Chris and his family is just so broad.
Similarly, Strobe and Francine are so over the top in their snobbery that one cannot believe that Emily and Richard would have been so close with them. Friends, sure. But besties? Nah. Compare this to a near identical couple in later seasons (Digger's parents). It was so easy to see how that 4 some got on so keenly over the years, even outside of the business connection.
However, I do love quite a few beats in this episode. Lorelei and Christopher have the best chemistry on screen together. I honestly think their chemistry is better than Lorelei and Luke have on that deep actor to actor level. Seeing Rory get so excited and want her parents together is truly heartbreaking. I wish they had hit the note a bit harder that it's less she wants her parents to date and more she wants her dad tied down to them. Which is just gutting.
While Strobe and Francine are monstrous beyond believability, the two scenes with Richard are amazing. First having him defend Lorelei, and second having him tell her that he defended her as a Gilmore, but it doesn't make what she did okay. i think its very telling though, that he doesn't just talk about how she should have been married, or that he was embarrassed having to tell his friends she was pregnant (though that was in there), but also the grief of how proud he was (calling her the "brightest in her class" you can see a spark similar to how he regards Rory). Worse still--he communicates the pain they felt when Lorelei ran away--asking Lorelei if she knew Emily couldn't get out of bed for a month. What got me here is Lorelei's reaction. You can see that in that moment, she really, truly imagines how it must of felt to her parents. She knows that she hurt them, but in the other moments when she talks about it, she talks about it in terms of hurting their pride, the pride of two very proud people. But in this moment, I think it might just be the first time she realized that she really and truly broke their hearts to have Lorelei leave, and to have Rory taken away. These are the first big scenes with Richard since his heart incident, and that look that transpired between him and Lorelei. These two scenes play out so much of the deep connection and the inscrutable disconnection that we saw in that look.
I also love the scene were Emily comforts Rory. It truly is such a grandmotherly thing to do, to feel like a failure as a mother since her daughter got pregnant in high school, while not being ashamed or remorseful at all about her granddaughter's "person or existence." While there was a sweet moment with Lorelei telling her that her grandparents don't even know how much they want to know her, I really do think this was a missed opportunity for Chris to do something redeeming too. I would have loved to see some clumsy steps toward being a dad here. Oh well.
I do agree with you though about Luke and Chris being perfect foils without seeming like obvious oposities. I never really thought about that, but you are exactly right. I also agree about Chris. He's an absolute dirtbag for being such a crap dad, but he's so charming, and the chemistry is so fire that it's very easy to overlook. I wonder if that's sort of the opposite with Luke? He supports Lorelei in such mundane, everyday ways that he's easy to take for granted? IDK.
I will say that as much as I laud people who don't make excuses when they screw up, Lorelei really should have told him the full story. It sucks to stand someone up, for sure, but like-- she didn't ditch him to go on a date (which appears to be what he got from the whole thing?). It feels very plot devise-y. IDK, i just watch this episode and think "all these people need therapy."
Oh and, since when did Dean have a motorcycle?